Progress!

So, it would seem that progress is happening?

I'm eating at least 3,000 calories every day, and on days where I work out, usually more. Sometimes as much as 3,900 calories.

Although I'm still struggling to eat this much, mainly when it's in the form of largely flavourless peanuts. Yuck!

However, I have progress to report! My work-sets for deadlift was 30kg, or roughly half my body weight at that time. Not only that, I feel much better this week, I'm not nearly so stiff and sore. I'm actually thinking I might be able to hit the gym twice (!) this week.

I weighed myself this morning, and came in at 64kg. I'm cautious about it, as my other half has been getting inconsistent readings from the scales recently, so we're not sure what's going on in that region.

It's worth noting that 64kg was my original target, given that 64kg is a "healthy" weight for someone my size (judging by BMI). I'm not too fussed about how heavy I get now, I have a lot of goals that don't revolve around the scale. I know how I want my body to look, and I know how much weight I want to be able to lift.

Also, not getting entirely shattered in a V would be super.

I also got a camera:

So now you get actual progress pics, hurrah you, "lucky" reader.

My other half also thinks that my eyes are looking a lot less sullen, which is good. When I got my hair cut, I thought I looked like the walking dead due to how gaunt my face was.

On the Jitsu side of life, tonight is the pre-grading. I've missed a lot of Jitsu this term, so I wouldn't be any good in the grading. No orange belt for me. Obviously, I'm here, writing this and not bouncing off the mat. That's for next week.

AUTHOR USED SQUAT. . . IT WASN'T VERY EFFECTIVE

Well, here we are. I'm back on the "many calories" diet, and lifting weights to train. I've noticed some things.

Firstly, I am finding weights very hard. I used to log my squats minus the weight of the bar, which, judging by my fitocracy profile, means that two years ago, my squat was ~60kg.

On Monday of this week, I started back at the ol' barbells. I could barely squat the unloaded bar (20kg). I added a 10kg plate, because I knew what I used to be capable of and nearly didn't get up on the final two squats. After that, I was adding weight in 2.5kg increments.

People thought I was a complete newbie, and it felt terrible to know how far I'd slid back. Starting Strength states that novices should be able to squat on the order of 45kg.

To top it off, even though I'm guzzling calories (~3,000 cal/day as a minimum, often reaching closer to ~4,000cal), I've been hurting with DOMS for the whole working week. At one point, getting in and out of a chair was a challenge.

Looking back, I've realised that I really could not keep up with my peers in Jitsu.

For example, in a V, I'd be able to put up a fight for maybe 1 minute. I specifically tailored my grading V to make heavy use of simple, easy and low energy locks so that I could simply survive for long enough. Throws aren't all that draining. Many of them are, bio-mechanically, very similar to a body weight squat.

When training ground work, I had serious issues when paired with anyone close to my weight. I back away and, once caught, can only fight for a few tens of seconds before becoming exhausted and simply giving up.

Outside of Jitsu, I've had other issues. I can't do pull ups like I used to. I could knock out 5 sets of 5 pull ups without too much hassle. I was even doing some sets wearing a weights vest.

Doing the fitloop.co intermediate routine was difficult in places, notably tucked rows, pull ups and the handstand (which should be support work). Getting tired out from the squatting should've alerted me to my slippage, but I ignored it.

Now, I am lucky if I can do a single set of 3 pull ups, unweighted.

Even when I tried to help my other half with their weight loss goals, I couldn't. I tried to help show that skipping was easy. I couldn't skip for more than 30 seconds without needing a rest.

I even slept more, taking lengthily naps when I got home from work on an evening. Now I sleep at more reasonable times.

I chased lower body fat percentages, aiming to have a visible 6-pack, but didn't consider my weight on the scale. I didn't make the connexion between near-constant (<10%) body fat readings from my callipers, and decreasing body weight with a loss of muscle.

I'm now paying the price of not heading over a years' worth of warning signs that I was damaging my goal of being (and looking!) stronger by simply not eating enough. At my lowest, I was ~55kg. I looked at that number with pride: Look how little fat I have, and how much muscle I must have in proportion! I've seen pictures of myself. I look friggin' skeletal at ~60kg.

My most recent plateau was 61.5kg. I thought I was stable there, but recent measurements showed a back-slip to 60kg -- back to an unhealthily low BMI.

I measured myself again last night, and I was back up at 62kg -- my weightiest to date. I hope to get to a much more healthy weight, and get the "Get Low" squat achievement (barbell squat, 1.1x body weight) on Fitocracy. Hell, the "I Prefer Being Off The Ground"  (pull-ups, 1 set, 15 reps) would be pretty awesome. At my peak, I think I could do 9 in a single set?

I've yet to decide on a weight that I'd like to get to. Obviously, I'm not "unbounded". My partner has been talking a lot about ~75kg. I'm not sure being that heavy would suit me, but we'll see how I fill out. I want to be at least 65kg.

Also, I've had 4,838 cal today. Tomorrow my legs will be recovered, because I wanna go get low some mo' ;-)

Back On The Wagon

So, I've basically been off the wagon since summer.

My maximum weight was around 61.5kg (my target is in excess of 64kg). I've slipped back to 60kg.

This time, I've got a better plan that involves at least 2 pints of whole milk every day, and I will be lifting weights along with my jitsu to try to encourage my body to put on weight. I'm following Mark Ripptoe's Starting Strength program.

My calorie aim is ~3,000 calories per day.

I just checked, and I can encircle my thigh with both hands :-/

Injury Time

For a little under 2 weeks now, I've had my fingers strapped up. I can't make a full fist with my right hand, but it's getting better. I've taken the strapping off for my day-to-day business.

However, I haven't done any form of exercise :-( It's driving me mad. Once it's all fixed, I'll be doing jitsu at the town club, not the uni club, because it's summer now! Just need to get my mons sewn onto my belt...

Weighed in today at 60kg, body fat was 2.50% and bicep size was 31cm.

I'm trying to eat more, but I keep running out of things, like milk. Two to three glasses a day is good, but I am always surprised when my jug runs out :-(

Grading!!

I finally got the chance to grade earlier today!

Even though in the very early parts of the session, I really hurt my index finger on my right hand (It's currently strapped to my other fingers. Typing is fun), I still made it to the end of the session, without stepping out of the session at all.

I know this is silly, but I didn't even let sensei know until I was off the mat. Ain't nothing stoppin' me from getting a belt!

My finger was injured in a very silly way. Wrist releases. I was uke for another  jitsuka. When the applied the very simple and low-risk technique to release the grab, my finger got caught up and twisted in their gi, resulting in a lot of snapping noises.

I feel like I'm picking up silly injuried, but I'm healing faster, and the injuries are becoming more minor each time -- I feel like I'm becoming more resilient.

In the end, despite my occasional complete lack of intelligence (Arm lock 2 for a tall person, anyone? I know it, I just kept on going wrong), and the injury, I was awarded my Yellow II belt. Hurrah!

I found the grading a bit strange, since it seemed like one of the guys looking to go for his orange lost control, throwing a bottle into the face of one uke, cutting his face. After that, he did it again in his V. He, surprisingly, did get his orange belt.

I managed to convince my other half to feed me a really carby meal last night, to fuel me in the grading, which I think worked like a charm. At the end of the 3 hour session, I walked away chipper and able to do more (excepting my finger injury). Mmm, so much spaghetti bolognaise was consumed ^.^

In celebration of me passing a grading, my other half cooked me a jacket potato and a quorn steak with peppercorn sauce, and a bottle of my favourite beer. It was delicious! So happy!

Weight and Internal Pre-Grading

Let's get the stats out of the way first:

• Weight: 60kg
• Body fat %: 4.90%
• Bicep Measurement: 31cm

This gives me a BMI of 18.52, bringing my just into the realms of ideal! Hurrah! Only 4kg left to go (keeping body fat % constant) to my target! Woo Woo!

Right, onto the good stuff, my internal pregrading.

We managed to go through the entire novice syllabus. We did a circle of grabs & strangles, in which, when the BIG guy got my hair, I just couldn't get him off. I got flustered, and a bit panic-y. Not good.

In my V, I was getting very flustered, just about always having 2 attackers on me at once, although I did manage to pace my throws with kote gaeshi to give myself time to recover & chill out a bit. I did at one point end up with the two biggest guys on the mat vs. me at one point, and ended up putting one of them between us, then using an arm lock as leverage to push him into the other. Good times!

The rest of the session was fine. Passable, but I wasn't at the standard I wanted of myself. I hope I do better on Saturday.

P.S. People with long hair are utterly fantastic for kosoto gari.

Practice

There is exactly one way to get good at something: Consistent, focused, self-critical practice over a long period of time.

What I mean by this is simple.

You must do it consistently, that is, no 3 month breaks, followed by a few mad weeks, followed by another 1 month break. It just doesn't work for most skills, and especially skills that require a a base-level of endurance. After a couple of weeks, you begin to lose your strength and endurance, and so, you ability to do whatever skill you were practicing.

You must be focused; if you're practicing by having ten minutes here, watch a YouTube video, 5 minutes there, watch some TV, etc. You'll eventually find your practice sessions simply not amounting to much more than watching TV while doing something that's only ornamental. You'll also fail to pay attention to what you're doing, and as a result, simply not notice if you're making mistakes, or be disinclined to fix them.

I will occasionally listen to a podcast while working out (though I don't recall what they're on at the end), but more commonly, I'll listen to some music.

Self-criticism is a very difficult subject. I personally struggle with this one, even with those far more advanced than me telling me that I'm doing well, I am overly self-critical, tearing myself down. I often note all of my flaws, without taking any real action to fix it.

What you really need to do is acknowledge your achievements so far, but also take on what you're struggling with without guilt and, if you're struggling to advance, ask for help. 

For instance, I was struggling with my left sided standing breakfalling some time ago. I asked a sensei, off the mat, what the common mistakes were. Next time I was on the mat, I took my progression backwards (as in, I went from standing to just-over kneeling), I paid attention to the potential common mistakes, noted which one I was doing, corrected it and continued. I still sometimes make the mistake, but I know the warning signs, and I know to re-attempt, while fixing my problems. That particular mistake is happening less and less.

A common refrain is the 10,000 hours of practice refrain. What's rarely mentioned is that you'll be crap at the beginning. Ensure that you're practicing well, and get over the self-inflicted guilt about your performance. You need the self-confidence to know that one day, you will have improved, and to let that guilt go. Everyone sucks to begin with, and only immature people will judge you for being bad at something when you're starting out.

Pre-Grading

I had my pre-grading this Sunday just gone.

Right at the beginning, I was asked to re-do my forwards standing breakfalling 3 or 4 times. I was absolutely bricking it, I thought I'd failed out hard, and wouldn't be allowed to grade. It would've killed me, not being able to grade this term. Trying so hard, fighting through my back pain, keeping going, fixing every little thing that I could find.

It turned out that sensei wanted everyone to get a good look, then tell everyone that my breakfalling was the best in the room. I was astounded. Elated, but also astounded.

After that, sensei asked if I'm aiming to become a 3rd Dan one day, to which I naturally replied that I'd like that! Gotta get my Yellow belt first though!

There was also a bit of bottle defense, which was hilariously fun. I went everywhere!

Aside from that, which I might not stop gloating about for some time, my V went a lot better than expected. I got a few big throws in to start with, osoto gari, kosoto gari being my bread-and-butter at the moment. I can't remember if I got a koshi guruma in there, but I'd be surprised. I was very tired.

The good thing about my V is that I managed to keep my cool, even when too tired to move really well. Instead of trying to keep on doing throws, I managed to safely drop back to wrist lock one (kote gaeshi). This was noticed, and while the senseis were impressed that I dropped back safely and keep my cool, it was regarded as somewhat of a lazy technique.

So next time, the pattern should be roughly throw, lock, lock, throw, lock, lock, etc. That should show that I can use appropriate techniques, and keep going even when the pressure's on.

So, the good news is that I'm slated to grade next week. If you can't tell by the rest of the post, I'm quite excited!

Even better news, I'm not injured.

P.S. I'm now drinking in excess of 6 pints of milk a week.

Recovery

I desperately want to grade, and gain muscle mass. I do not want to be a 55.5kg guy who gets light headed doing breakfall practice.

Unfortunately for me, I'm still carrying a bit of an injury from before the holiday. I fell incorrectly out of seoi otoshi, landing square on my back. At the time, I thought I was just winded, but as time has gone on, the pain in my upper back hasn't gone away in over 12 weeks.

What I really need is to see a medical professional and take some time out from almost all physical activities. Especially jtisu, which has a lot of impact in it. I suspect that what I need is a couple of weeks of rest, followed by a no impact or low impact sport which works my upper back, like swimming (especially with a pull-float).

Recovery is hard, because it means breaking routine, it can mean altering or abandoning goals (especially time-sensitive goals), it feels like giving up.

I am doing the bull headed and stupid thing. I am seeing my goals through to the end. If I am capable, if my techniques are up to scratch, I will be grading. The four horsemen could show up, and I wouldn't care. As long as the sensei performing the grading and someone to uke show up, I'll be there.

This makes me feel like less of a failure, but I feel capable, since I've been training on my injury (in fact, I think it's made me more away of my breakfalling technique, especially forwards left) quite hard recently in preparation for grading.

Anyways, here's my stats of late:

• Weight: 59.5kg
• Body Fat %: 2.90% to 4.90% (My reading was 3.5mm, averaged over 4 measurements, which wasn't listed on my handy scale)
• Bicep: 31cm

Progress pics... I actually need to buy a camera, since I don't have a camera phone.

Regression

Regression is a difficult thing. Forgetting the fact that you have to re-do part of your training, thus wasting your time, it's simply one of the most disheartening things.

It's basically caused by de-training. My understanding is that if you're weight training, your body adapts to the weights you're putting on it. Those adaptations start to reduce after only two weeks out. Obviously, this is really bad news for those who do a 6-week program, then go out for a kebab every night for a month, and expect to be able to do what they could.

But worse than that, it's a real problem for people who're prone to injury. Injuries take a long time to heal. Many people look to get their fix in, working around the injury, but this obviously carries risks.

I have been out of the weights game for a long time, long enough for any physical benefit I got from it to have long gone. Similarly, I've not taught pole exercise, or a strength session at pole exercise for over a year. I stopped due to a back injury some time ago now. This has long since passed, but I just can't seem to get back on the horse with pole.

Luckily, I've been doing jitsu, but my surprising lack of strength and endurance has taken me by surprise. I thought I'd last longer and be better able to win groundwork by pure strength. I thought I'd be better able to cope with the warm up and strength in jitsu, but I lagged behind my colleagues. I thought that picking myself up off the floor for two hours would be fine, and I'm only just able to start keeping up with them, really.

The truth is that my back healed quite a long time ago now, and that I should not have hesitated at getting back into calisthenics. They are so good, especially when done well. A pull-up bar, and a sturdy chair (or a wobbly chair and a kind partner) are all you really need to get started.

I regret not getting back sooner, and I'm not really sure if I'll ever go back to pole. I keep telling myself that I'll go along to a few Sunday sessions, maybe take a few of the strength class parts, the usual, but I've yet to do it. My schedule is so hectic, with 2 weekday evening jitsu classes, and one on Saturday, combined with seeing family that live over an hour's drive away on weekends, jitsu having regional training, nationals, pre-grading and grading on weekends too, I just don't have the time.

But that's not to say that I can't set aside some time during the weeknights to follow the fitloop.co routine every other weekday night. It should help me gain weight, as it'll give my body something to do with all the damn milk, and hopefully, I'll be more resilient to injury in the future!

Return From Hiatus

So, where's my lazy-ass been for the last three months? My last post date was 2014-03-30. That's March! Madness!

Following my broken tow which presented me with difficulty working out, having a less-than-perfect money situation (hence, no protein shake), and plateauing with my weight.

Basically, I was disillusioned and unhappy. Combine that with the fact that term was out, so no jitsu, and a broken toe stopped me from grading... I think I was understandably fed up, and procrastination looked so much better.

Also, my calorie-counting app decided to boot me, in the middle of trying to track a meal, so I just gave up on that.

Fast forward to now, I've been drinking 2x 300ml of milk every day, not scrupulously counting calories and generally just trying to eat more.

I have been planning, on and off, for sometime, to go down the gym and lift weights in an attempt to convince my body to use the protein I give it. Given that I didn't really have money for protein shake, I thought it would be unwise to "invest" in a gym membership and even more unwise to pay the huge fee to use the gym without a membership, so I gave that a miss. And that was when I went back to /r/bodyweightfitness.

Those guys have been assembling a wiki just full of body weight exercises for as long as I can remember, and doing it well. So, low and behold, upon my glorious return when I found that a member of said community had built fitloop.co. That shit is cash. One of the best put together sites that I've seen, and definitely the best that I've seen regarding strength building. If you have only one site for your fitness needs, I think you fitloop.co is a serious contender.

All in all, their intermediate routine took me just under an hour, excluding the parallel bar support practice. I don't have parallel bars.

So, my plan at this point is:

• Eat more. Especially milk and nuts.
• Fitloop.co intermediate workout, 3 times a week.
• Jitsu, 3 times a week
• FUCKIN' GRADE

I may not blog as much, mostly due to time constraints, but I'll try to keep a reasonable log.

Fitloop.co intermediate workout:

• Tuck Lever Row, 3x5
• Pseudo Planche Pushups 3x5
• Pull-Ups 2x5 1x2
• Box Headstand Push Up 3x5
• Deep Step-Up 3x5

Aside, I also read Tau Zero. I really liked it. Like a lot.

Day 23

Started playing some new games today to relax, stuff from the Humble Weekly Sale, I've been having immense fun with Defender's Quest and Planet Stronghold. Both are thoroughly entertaining, with decent story lines so far. I think I prefer Defender's Quest, primarily because it's story line is very humor driven.

In other news, apparently the ice cream that my other half bought is only 270 calories per half tub. What madness is this?

Day 21 & 22

Day 21

Day 21 was my most recent day of measurements, they were:

• Weight: 59kg
• Body Fat Percentage: 4.90%
• Bicep: 30cm

I had a bit of trouble with my calorie counting app, so I didn't manage to get them noted for yesterday, but I'll check in and see if I can get it down today. Nothing additional to report, really. Foot's still fucked.

Day 22

Today, I had my faith restored in humanity, twice. Firstly, I received my shopping delivery, but before my delivery driver called me up to get it to me, he'd called an ambulance for a young lady who seemed to be having difficulty on the floor. We rushed my food up 3 flights of stairs, and then came back to check on her, by which time, the ambulance had arrived. I was so impressed, I actually wrote the customer service an email. I hope the delivery driver gets a bonus or something, at least.

Secondly, there was a video of a woman having her cochlea implants activated. I actually cried. I don't cry often, I tend to go cold and stoic (ask my other half, she will attest to this)

Day 20

Calories were fine today -- though spent all day feeling way too full. My co-worker brought himself a bag of roasted, salted peanuts. 400g of said peanuts. He didn't eat them all while I was there, but we were joking that it wouldn't be possible!

Foot's healing fairly slowly. I can walk most places with no hobbling, and getting my socks and boots on is still uncomfortable.

I've started reading Ringworld, and so far, it's excellent. I can't wait to read more of it! I would highly recommend it based on the first 90 pages.

I've been thinking a lot about hard SF of late, and I realised that I don't really alternate between technical books and fiction, so much as technical books and hard SF. I think the difference is crucial, and explains well why I'm struggling to keep reading things like LoTR, and a few other great novels, but hard SF books with mediocre writing often have the ability to just pull me in.

Day 18 & 19

We (my other half and I) did so little yesterday that we barely remember. It was awesome. We watched Pacific Rim :-)

Usual day today otherwise. Getting worried that I'm filling out in the "wrong" way, that my body fat is increasing, but that I'm not gaining any muscle. I wish my foot would heal so I could go pick up heavy things.

I could, however, be imagining things.

Day 17

Nothing to report really -- lazy Saturday. Saw a couple of friends, watched some Death Note & Rain Man, saw some friends. Reached my calorie target. All was well in the world :-)

Day 16

Finally! My protein shake has arrived! Huzzah! I can finally stop drinking pints and pints of milk.

Also, instead of random mixed fruit & nuts, I had 100g of roasted, salted peanuts with lunch, for 600 calories. It is truly crazy.

Day 15

More cake! I ate the left over cake in the office. God do I love coffee cake.

My measurements were a little disappointing -- no change, for the most part:

• Weight: 58.5kg -- No change
• Body fat percentage: 4.9% -- No change
• Bicep size: 30cm -- +1cm. Probably can be attributed to random fluctuations.

For dinner today, we chickened out, and ordered a vegetarian lasagne from a local takeaway. We simply shared it, and half the lasagne on it's own was probably slightly more than my usual evening meal, and it came with chips, so we shared them too. Overall, a surprisingly calorie dense meal, and I'm glad I didn't order a whole one to myself :-)

In other, relatively unrelated news, I've been reviewing and contributing to Crypto 101. It's very alpha at the moment, but once we've got the technical details hashed out, I want to provide a list of "reasons to not write your own crypto" to discourage folks from doing so. I may even write a section and offer it to the author.

My foot has, in part, turned blue.

Day 14

Nothing much to report, though I am getting back into the swing of crypto & security in general, getting through at least one paper a day, and reading Ross Anderson's big book "Security Engineering".

Aside from that, one of the PhD's in the research group had a birthday and his brother had a child, so he brought cake for the group to celebrate! Coffee cake and some bowls full of gajar ka halwa. It was very, very nice, and I'm also some 500 calories over my goal for today, so all's well!

Gajar ka halwa is a desert made from ghee, grated carrot, nuts and fruits (like dates). It's really nice, often topped up with a bit of sugar, and according to my calorie counting web app, coming in at around 300 calories a "cup". That makes it a really attractive desert for once in a while, it's not incredibly sugary, it's vegetarian, and the majority of the constituents aren't generally "bad" for a person. I think I'll have to keep my eye out for it every now and again :-)

Unfortunately, since my other half and I are usually below our calorie targets, we're going to the garage to "top up" our calories. I think we need to adjust our evening meal to add some 200 calories so that we are getting the right amount of food every day, without having to spend a couple of quid at the garage every day. We're mainly thinking about adding a pudding, but thinking about it now, I would not say more to more food on my plate.

Day 13

Nothing to report, still out of protein shake, foot's turned an interesting colour.

Hopefully the camera cable will show up tomorrow, with protein shake and all will be well.

I did manage to give myself a headache by not eating soon after work -- I think I had a combined dehydration & sugar crash thing, was quite unpleasant. All was fixed thanks to a lovely dinner from my other half :-)

Day 12

Still no protein shake, come on Amazon, hurry it up!

Otherwise, perfectly normal day. Walking to and from work is getting easier by the trip, I think the swelling is starting to go down on my foot -- it definitely feels like it fits in my boot better. Although, I now have a bruise that goes from the inside edge of my big toe down to the outside of my ankle. That's right, half my foot is an odd yellow colour. Go me.

My other half is worried that I'll have a permanent bump on the bridge of my nose. Now they've said it, I'm a little worried about it too. The bruising said injury has caused bruising under my eyes now too.

Progress pics are in progress (pun intended), just got to wait on a replacement camera charger from Amazon, it should be here by Wednesday, which means the camera should be charged for the next measuring day!

I almost got my calories on the nose tonight, sneaking over by 66 thanks to a Bounty bar. I adore Bounty bars, but they pull the same make-the-nutritional-information-hard-to-interpret shit that the co-op did with their pizza. Odd sized servings and not displaying the full content of the full packet prominently. Sigh.

I am getting restless for exercise, I keep fantasizing about doing a calisthenics workout in the living room, complete with modifications to work around my injured foot. I know I should rest it, but I am getting so restless, and I've only been "away" from exercise since last Thursday.

Day 11

Very lazy Sunday. Spent the day writing crypto code. Nothing for production, just to see what I could make Haskell do, since most crypto code does not suit Haskell fantastically well.

Aside from that, also spent a lot of time on the whole "being lazy as all hell" thing, thanks Pokémon & 4400 :-)

I am still short my protein shake, so I just did the same as yesterday -- 600ml of milk!

Managed to consume some 3,100 calories today, about 900 calories over my calorie goal. This is largely down to eating an entire 140g bag of revels. My calorie counting webapp thinks that if I keep going at this rate, I'll reach 63.7kg in 5 weeks. That's pretty close to my goal, but I intend to work out a lot. Especially now that the holidays are here, as soon as I am well enough, I'll be getting down the gym to life things up and put them down.

Day 10

So, I've completely run out of protein shake, and I didn't much feel like hobbling down to the garage to get some fancy can-o-milk.

So I just put some 600ml of milk in my protein shake shaker, and added hot chocolate powder. It didn't dissolve very well, but otherwise went down just fine. It is a little calorie shy, but what the hey, what ever works until my next batch arrives.

I seem to have spent today doing one of four things:

1. Sleeping
2. Eating (I got to be exactly 20 calories over my goal :-D)
3. Watching NetFlix (The 4400, and the original Pokémon series)
4. Reading crypto papers (seriously, just read this)

All are a good way to pass the time, and take my mind off the fact that I am missing out on grading because I stubbed my toe on a mat last Thursday. Good job me. In related news, my foot is a funny colour and shape. So is my nose.

Day 9

I want to call something out today, but first, a run down of how the day went.

With a swollen nose, I struggled to eat in general; as in, being unable to breath while chewing made life difficult. But I got through my usual amount, and although I struggled at lunch, I ate it all.

I did, however, run out of protein shake, so I had ~1/3 of a protein shake and a can of "Dunn's River Nourishment". It's basically canned milk, and something like 400 calories, so I took that to work for after my protein shake.

Now, onto calling shit out.

Calling it out

Until recently, I thought to myself "I'm eating loads, I don't understand why I'm not gaining weight."

As it turns out, I was eating lots, in terms of weight, but vegetables actually deliver very little in the way of calories. Bulking up on vegetables (broccoli, beans, carrots, etc. potatoes don't count for this particular circumstance) is exceptionally difficult, as is becoming overweight. For me to bulk up on my normal diet without additional milk, nuts, etc. would be an insane task.

Now, a friend of mine explained that the general populace does not eat like me (who would've thought it, I'm weird in more than one way!)

Tonight, I ate an entire cheese pizza. I am not in the slightest bit full. I am, however, some 1,200 calories over my target. The entire pizza was 1,210 calories, but the front of the box advertises 605 calories. What's going on here? The pizza advises a serving size of half a pizza (in small print). No where does it tell you the calorific content of the whole thing.

There's a few points I'm basically trying to make here:

1. The foods that many people eat are not very filling, but are extremely calorie dense, meaning that you can consume a hell of a lot of calories without realising it.
2. The calorie display on the box is, in my opinion, actively mis-leading. There are several large boxes for quick reading, but I didn't know the small print existed until I went to go note my calories for the day, and the small print is vital for making an informed decision. I find that practice to rather under-handed.
3. The idea of a "serving" is used to give "unhealthy" foods a better looking information box by limiting how much of the food is to be eaten. The company's concept of a serving is very different to the concept of a serving on your dining table. 

If you're not like me, whose main meals consist of mostly vegetables, and you're trying to control how many calories you eat, and you're not practically studying the little boxes that come with pre-packaged foods, you're going to have a really bad time.

Day 8

Day 8 had two big things in it for me. I weighed/measured myself for the first time since I started this, and I had my pre-grading!

Measurements!

For the measuring, I gained 2.5kg since I started, my body fat percentage was 4.9% and my bicep was 29cm. I hadn't previously taken the last two measurements, but the weight came in at a total of 58.5kg. Not a bad result for a week of having two god-awful protein shakes every day. I say god-awful not because of their taste anymore, but because of how they make me feel.

I will aim to measure myself on the first day of every week since I started, which is Thursdays. I will also be keeping a log (spreadsheets, everything is improved with spreadsheets), which I might publish at the end of all this.

Pre-Grading

Secondly, the pre-grading. Oh deary me. Firstly, I injured my toe putting the mats out, such that I effectively did a fair few of my techniques standing on my left leg. I also had the "opportunity" to practice my "iron face" technique in a V. For those who're wondering, the "iron face" technique is where you can't decide how to react to an incoming punch, and so opt to simply hope that your face turns to iron. It's highly ineffective, I have quite a swollen nose.

As a result, my feed back was mostly to keep my hands up in the V, and to do more throws in a V, rather than locks which can end up tangled. I am allowed to grade, on condition of my foot getting better.

On a related note, a friend has requested that I do progress pics. Tempting, very tempting, if I do it at all, I'll do it once the swelling & bruising on the bridge of my nose has gone down significantly.

Calories

I've almost run out of mixed nuts, stripping me of ~400 calories, and with the two jitsu sessions today (I had a gentle hour of practice before the session, then the pre-grading session a couple of hours later), I am currently about 2,100 calories today.

I'd best go get eating.

Day 7

Day 7 started out "well", in that I felt so shit. Mostly just like I was coming down with the flu. Went to work all wrapped up very warm.

It did make eating a struggle, turning a slightly over-full sensation in to actively feeling nauseous.

On the plus side, it's the last day that I had 2 protein shakes in a day! Woo!

Day 6

So glad to have a day off from jitsu to do some much needed rest and recuperation. Hopefully all will be in order for my grading on Saturday.

Got past my calorie target by something like 380 calories. Nothing major to report, other than that eating is still a bit of a challenge. If I don't time it right, I don't want to eat dinner, and I spend the afternoon effectively snacking on nuts, a banana, etc. as I work. Not great for getting stuff done.

Day 5

Day 5 was another jitsu day, but more than that, we had a mini party in honor of the head of our research group who turned 60 over the weekend. Congrats!

Also, this means I got cake! And when I got home after jitsu, my other half wasn't feeling well, so we cheated and got a takeaway... It turns out that a madras with rice is well over 800 calories for the meal.

The jitsu was reasonably low intensity, focusing on getting the techniques down that we were struggling with during the pre-grading.

I, predictably, breezed through my calorie target for something ridiculous like 500 calories, and then felt sick. Yey for cake!

Days 3 & 4

Day 3

Day three was a strangely tough day, and not due to the eating.

I went out with PPUK:York to do some care.data flyering at the LibDem conference, and then went and marched in the TUC march.

Once I got in, I took up sneezing as my full-time job, and kept trying to sleep it off. I sneezed so much it really annoyed my other half, got in the way of my eating, and the headaches brought on made me sleep half the remaining day -- not good.

The eating was only made more difficult by this, but I persevered, managing to pack away a whopping 986 calories over my target for that day! I think I was comfort eating to compensate for the ill that sneezing made me feel. I also tried peanut butter on toast -- pretty tasty and incredibly calorific.

Day 4

This is a jitsu day, but one out of order. I don't normally do jitsu on a Sunday, but this is the pre-grading. This time next week, I'll be writing my blog with either a new belt, or shame, wrath, disappointment, KHAAANNN!

That aside, it does take my required target to some 3420 calories which I am only 16 calories short.

I am getting somewhat used to the protein shakes, I think I can get through a protein shake with a couple of chugging sessions now, and it doesn't make me feel too sick afterwards; though I still feel thoroughly full, and that's on top of the full feeling I get after a meal.

We're beginning to worry about how I'll make the 3420 calorie target on jitsu days (soon to be work out days, as school will be out soon, so no jitsu for 5 weeks), and especially since the coming week has potentially 5 (!) jitsu days in preparation for grading.

Day 2

Oh unholy Jebus. I am so full I feel sick.

Today was much the same as yesterday, except no jitsu, and I effectively doubled up on protein shake, and dinner was a vegetable stir-fry. I was so full at work that when a co-worker offered me cookies, I had to turn them down. I couldn't even stomach my banana, I've had to save that for later in the evening.

On the plus side, I've exceeded my target for today by something like 380 calories. This does mean that when I "cut back" to just one protein shake for a day, I'll have to drink an extra glass of whole milk or something to keep up my target.

I'm going to go lay down and flop about like a beached whale.

Day 1

My Current Life

I am a 180cm tall, 56kg male, and I need to gain weight. My body mass index is 17.28 which is firmly in the "underweight" category.

I lead a rather sedentry lifestyle, being a computer programmer, but two to three times a week, I go and do Jiu Jitsu for 1h 30m to 2h, and occasionally, there are regionals, nationals, grading, pre-grading, etc. which really raises how much exercise I am doing.

In a previous life, I was a pole exercise instructor, but even back then, I was rarely over 60kg in weight. When I was doing most of my strength training for this, I just failed to add any strength to my muscles. I was at a plateau, and a very low one at that.

I would like to be able to give blood safely again. Last time I did, I passed out, because I didn't realise how low my body weight was. It would also be super if next time I'm on a strength training regime, I actually became stronger. It's also generally important, since I pick up a lot of minor injuries in jitsu, and I heal very slowly as an underweight chap.

Day 1

Breakfast

So, I don't deviate much for breakfast, but I've invested in some protein shake stuff. For breakfast, I had my usual, coffee (whole milk, not soya this time) and scrambled eggs. I made myself a protein shake with 50g powder in it, and headed off to work.

Lunch

For lunch, I stuck to my normal. A nice home-made sandwich,  some yoghurt, and some nuts. Nothing spectacular. At around 4PM, I ate my banana as usual.

Jitsu

Today was a jitsu day. When I stepped onto the mat, I was feeling generally the same as usual, except a lot fuller than normal. Maybe it was some sort of placebo, but I was genuinely worried that during the break falling practise, I could throw up. As it turned out, I got through it without much more than feeling dizzy. The rest of the session passed without incident, except for still being crap at V's (as always).

Dinner

Once again, a normal dinner. Carrots, brocolli, fine beans and a veggie meat-substitute. Garlic "chicken" kiev. Very nice. I also followed this up with another protein shake, made with a 50g serving of the powder. I felt very full, sickly almost. I must've eaten my required 2,280 calories for the day!

Logging it

So, I went onto my calorie counting app and put in my calories. I was even given a couple of biscuits/cookies for helping the caterers out at work (nothing fancy, just looking after some stuff for 10 mins).

I was certain that I'd hit my calorie target. I was stuffed, and it was getting on for half ten at night!

Nope, I was 355 calories shy.

I, while feeling rather full, continued to eat, having even more nuts, and a glass of whole milk. Blech.

I came in at 59 calories over. Phew.

Thoughts at the End of Day 1

How do normal people actually manage to get over 1,500 calories in a day as-standard? I simply don't understand where all those calories are coming from! I am quite full, and not looking forwards to breakfast tomorrow morning!

Oh, and I cocked up. It's not 50g of power for a protein shake, it's 150g. The stuff was quite thick and unpleasant to drink today. I've already made the extra one for breakfast tomorrow. I am so not looking forwards to breakfast tomorrow.