Progress!

So, it would seem that progress is happening?

I'm eating at least 3,000 calories every day, and on days where I work out, usually more. Sometimes as much as 3,900 calories.

Although I'm still struggling to eat this much, mainly when it's in the form of largely flavourless peanuts. Yuck!

However, I have progress to report! My work-sets for deadlift was 30kg, or roughly half my body weight at that time. Not only that, I feel much better this week, I'm not nearly so stiff and sore. I'm actually thinking I might be able to hit the gym twice (!) this week.

I weighed myself this morning, and came in at 64kg. I'm cautious about it, as my other half has been getting inconsistent readings from the scales recently, so we're not sure what's going on in that region.

It's worth noting that 64kg was my original target, given that 64kg is a "healthy" weight for someone my size (judging by BMI). I'm not too fussed about how heavy I get now, I have a lot of goals that don't revolve around the scale. I know how I want my body to look, and I know how much weight I want to be able to lift.

Also, not getting entirely shattered in a V would be super.

I also got a camera:

So now you get actual progress pics, hurrah you, "lucky" reader.

My other half also thinks that my eyes are looking a lot less sullen, which is good. When I got my hair cut, I thought I looked like the walking dead due to how gaunt my face was.

On the Jitsu side of life, tonight is the pre-grading. I've missed a lot of Jitsu this term, so I wouldn't be any good in the grading. No orange belt for me. Obviously, I'm here, writing this and not bouncing off the mat. That's for next week.

AUTHOR USED SQUAT. . . IT WASN'T VERY EFFECTIVE

Well, here we are. I'm back on the "many calories" diet, and lifting weights to train. I've noticed some things.

Firstly, I am finding weights very hard. I used to log my squats minus the weight of the bar, which, judging by my fitocracy profile, means that two years ago, my squat was ~60kg.

On Monday of this week, I started back at the ol' barbells. I could barely squat the unloaded bar (20kg). I added a 10kg plate, because I knew what I used to be capable of and nearly didn't get up on the final two squats. After that, I was adding weight in 2.5kg increments.

People thought I was a complete newbie, and it felt terrible to know how far I'd slid back. Starting Strength states that novices should be able to squat on the order of 45kg.

To top it off, even though I'm guzzling calories (~3,000 cal/day as a minimum, often reaching closer to ~4,000cal), I've been hurting with DOMS for the whole working week. At one point, getting in and out of a chair was a challenge.

Looking back, I've realised that I really could not keep up with my peers in Jitsu.

For example, in a V, I'd be able to put up a fight for maybe 1 minute. I specifically tailored my grading V to make heavy use of simple, easy and low energy locks so that I could simply survive for long enough. Throws aren't all that draining. Many of them are, bio-mechanically, very similar to a body weight squat.

When training ground work, I had serious issues when paired with anyone close to my weight. I back away and, once caught, can only fight for a few tens of seconds before becoming exhausted and simply giving up.

Outside of Jitsu, I've had other issues. I can't do pull ups like I used to. I could knock out 5 sets of 5 pull ups without too much hassle. I was even doing some sets wearing a weights vest.

Doing the fitloop.co intermediate routine was difficult in places, notably tucked rows, pull ups and the handstand (which should be support work). Getting tired out from the squatting should've alerted me to my slippage, but I ignored it.

Now, I am lucky if I can do a single set of 3 pull ups, unweighted.

Even when I tried to help my other half with their weight loss goals, I couldn't. I tried to help show that skipping was easy. I couldn't skip for more than 30 seconds without needing a rest.

I even slept more, taking lengthily naps when I got home from work on an evening. Now I sleep at more reasonable times.

I chased lower body fat percentages, aiming to have a visible 6-pack, but didn't consider my weight on the scale. I didn't make the connexion between near-constant (<10%) body fat readings from my callipers, and decreasing body weight with a loss of muscle.

I'm now paying the price of not heading over a years' worth of warning signs that I was damaging my goal of being (and looking!) stronger by simply not eating enough. At my lowest, I was ~55kg. I looked at that number with pride: Look how little fat I have, and how much muscle I must have in proportion! I've seen pictures of myself. I look friggin' skeletal at ~60kg.

My most recent plateau was 61.5kg. I thought I was stable there, but recent measurements showed a back-slip to 60kg -- back to an unhealthily low BMI.

I measured myself again last night, and I was back up at 62kg -- my weightiest to date. I hope to get to a much more healthy weight, and get the "Get Low" squat achievement (barbell squat, 1.1x body weight) on Fitocracy. Hell, the "I Prefer Being Off The Ground"  (pull-ups, 1 set, 15 reps) would be pretty awesome. At my peak, I think I could do 9 in a single set?

I've yet to decide on a weight that I'd like to get to. Obviously, I'm not "unbounded". My partner has been talking a lot about ~75kg. I'm not sure being that heavy would suit me, but we'll see how I fill out. I want to be at least 65kg.

Also, I've had 4,838 cal today. Tomorrow my legs will be recovered, because I wanna go get low some mo' ;-)

Back On The Wagon

So, I've basically been off the wagon since summer.

My maximum weight was around 61.5kg (my target is in excess of 64kg). I've slipped back to 60kg.

This time, I've got a better plan that involves at least 2 pints of whole milk every day, and I will be lifting weights along with my jitsu to try to encourage my body to put on weight. I'm following Mark Ripptoe's Starting Strength program.

My calorie aim is ~3,000 calories per day.

I just checked, and I can encircle my thigh with both hands :-/

Injury Time

For a little under 2 weeks now, I've had my fingers strapped up. I can't make a full fist with my right hand, but it's getting better. I've taken the strapping off for my day-to-day business.

However, I haven't done any form of exercise :-( It's driving me mad. Once it's all fixed, I'll be doing jitsu at the town club, not the uni club, because it's summer now! Just need to get my mons sewn onto my belt...

Weighed in today at 60kg, body fat was 2.50% and bicep size was 31cm.

I'm trying to eat more, but I keep running out of things, like milk. Two to three glasses a day is good, but I am always surprised when my jug runs out :-(

Grading!!

I finally got the chance to grade earlier today!

Even though in the very early parts of the session, I really hurt my index finger on my right hand (It's currently strapped to my other fingers. Typing is fun), I still made it to the end of the session, without stepping out of the session at all.

I know this is silly, but I didn't even let sensei know until I was off the mat. Ain't nothing stoppin' me from getting a belt!

My finger was injured in a very silly way. Wrist releases. I was uke for another  jitsuka. When the applied the very simple and low-risk technique to release the grab, my finger got caught up and twisted in their gi, resulting in a lot of snapping noises.

I feel like I'm picking up silly injuried, but I'm healing faster, and the injuries are becoming more minor each time -- I feel like I'm becoming more resilient.

In the end, despite my occasional complete lack of intelligence (Arm lock 2 for a tall person, anyone? I know it, I just kept on going wrong), and the injury, I was awarded my Yellow II belt. Hurrah!

I found the grading a bit strange, since it seemed like one of the guys looking to go for his orange lost control, throwing a bottle into the face of one uke, cutting his face. After that, he did it again in his V. He, surprisingly, did get his orange belt.

I managed to convince my other half to feed me a really carby meal last night, to fuel me in the grading, which I think worked like a charm. At the end of the 3 hour session, I walked away chipper and able to do more (excepting my finger injury). Mmm, so much spaghetti bolognaise was consumed ^.^

In celebration of me passing a grading, my other half cooked me a jacket potato and a quorn steak with peppercorn sauce, and a bottle of my favourite beer. It was delicious! So happy!

Weight and Internal Pre-Grading

Let's get the stats out of the way first:

• Weight: 60kg
• Body fat %: 4.90%
• Bicep Measurement: 31cm

This gives me a BMI of 18.52, bringing my just into the realms of ideal! Hurrah! Only 4kg left to go (keeping body fat % constant) to my target! Woo Woo!

Right, onto the good stuff, my internal pregrading.

We managed to go through the entire novice syllabus. We did a circle of grabs & strangles, in which, when the BIG guy got my hair, I just couldn't get him off. I got flustered, and a bit panic-y. Not good.

In my V, I was getting very flustered, just about always having 2 attackers on me at once, although I did manage to pace my throws with kote gaeshi to give myself time to recover & chill out a bit. I did at one point end up with the two biggest guys on the mat vs. me at one point, and ended up putting one of them between us, then using an arm lock as leverage to push him into the other. Good times!

The rest of the session was fine. Passable, but I wasn't at the standard I wanted of myself. I hope I do better on Saturday.

P.S. People with long hair are utterly fantastic for kosoto gari.

Practice

There is exactly one way to get good at something: Consistent, focused, self-critical practice over a long period of time.

What I mean by this is simple.

You must do it consistently, that is, no 3 month breaks, followed by a few mad weeks, followed by another 1 month break. It just doesn't work for most skills, and especially skills that require a a base-level of endurance. After a couple of weeks, you begin to lose your strength and endurance, and so, you ability to do whatever skill you were practicing.

You must be focused; if you're practicing by having ten minutes here, watch a YouTube video, 5 minutes there, watch some TV, etc. You'll eventually find your practice sessions simply not amounting to much more than watching TV while doing something that's only ornamental. You'll also fail to pay attention to what you're doing, and as a result, simply not notice if you're making mistakes, or be disinclined to fix them.

I will occasionally listen to a podcast while working out (though I don't recall what they're on at the end), but more commonly, I'll listen to some music.

Self-criticism is a very difficult subject. I personally struggle with this one, even with those far more advanced than me telling me that I'm doing well, I am overly self-critical, tearing myself down. I often note all of my flaws, without taking any real action to fix it.

What you really need to do is acknowledge your achievements so far, but also take on what you're struggling with without guilt and, if you're struggling to advance, ask for help. 

For instance, I was struggling with my left sided standing breakfalling some time ago. I asked a sensei, off the mat, what the common mistakes were. Next time I was on the mat, I took my progression backwards (as in, I went from standing to just-over kneeling), I paid attention to the potential common mistakes, noted which one I was doing, corrected it and continued. I still sometimes make the mistake, but I know the warning signs, and I know to re-attempt, while fixing my problems. That particular mistake is happening less and less.

A common refrain is the 10,000 hours of practice refrain. What's rarely mentioned is that you'll be crap at the beginning. Ensure that you're practicing well, and get over the self-inflicted guilt about your performance. You need the self-confidence to know that one day, you will have improved, and to let that guilt go. Everyone sucks to begin with, and only immature people will judge you for being bad at something when you're starting out.